You may have read the books {like me}, taken the childbirth classes {like me}, and thought you knew everything there was to know about nursing, sleep, schedules, and bodily functions. However, from that first moment when the doctor hands you your firstborn, your preconceptions of motherhood are blown to bits.
Honesty is hard to come by once you become a mama ... at least, that's what I've discovered. Why are we so set on keeping appearances? Who does it benefit? NOT the mama who is trying to hold back her tears while keeping a happy face and saying "I love every second of being a mom." NOT the mama she's actually talking to who is probably trying to hold back her tears (and probably a snarky comment) while thinking "she's either lying or on medication." NOT the mama eavesdropping on the conversation trying to hold back HER tears while thinking "am I THE ONLY MOM ALIVE who thinks this is hard?"
Being a mama is hard.
Someone told me early on that the first is the hardest because that firstborn makes you a mama. That firstborn interrupts your fancy-free married life and gives you less sleep, less money, and less time to yourself. That firstborn causes you to plan like you've never planned before {or live in utter chaos, if not}. That firstborn causes you more stress, more anxiety, and {sometimes} more tears than any other person in your life.
It's totally true. Adding the second just grows your family. The first takes your life and shakes it like a snow globe. My life was shaken when we had our daughter but I would NEVER go back and change our decision to start a family. She brings me so much joy and I never realized I had the capacity to love someone like I love my girl.
Truthfully, we're not BABY people but we are, most definitely, TODDLER people. Once our daughter hit the toddler stage, we were good to go. I LOVE that she can communicate with me now and my heart oozes into a puddle on the floor when she hugs me and tell me she loves me.
If you're ready for some more honesty from this mama, stop by my blog, Mama Marchand's Musings. It's filled with musings about mamahood, marriage, faith, life, health, and fashion. Thanks for reading!
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I have chills...i've been that mama, frozen smile 'i love having a baby...'
ReplyDeleteMama guilt is crippling...but i have to say, toddler-ville is a cool place to be!
so true! I always think that too. AM I the only mama that wants to just run and hide!?
ReplyDeleteYay for honesty! Being a mama IS HARD. I think I was more of a baby person though. As soon as she started to move I was chasing her all over the place!
ReplyDeleteSo touching <3
ReplyDeleteLoved the honesty, Tricia. It's all so true. Being a mother is the hardest job I've ever had in my life!
ReplyDeletei'm completely with you on this one. babies, not so fun...toddlers are so much more awesome.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words, ladies. :) <3
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU! I get looks of pure evil sometimes when I say that I am NOT a baby person. Of course I didn't realize this until I had my son but it is the truth.
ReplyDeleteActually, I keep wishing for them to be teenagers. I ADORE that age, it has it's trials and tribulations but it is an amazing time as well.
Julie
One of my girlfriends and I always complained to each other how we hated the newborn stage. We would only say it to each other because everyone else seemed to gasp with disbelief. You have to have a friend you can be real with! Great post
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